What is parenting?
How would a parent even answer that?
Perhaps the average 'responsible parent' would say: "Raising and providing for your child until adulthood.'
Parenting is however much more than that. There is no clear course to go about, but it wouldn't hurt to learn some mistakes you should avoid when dealing with your child. I bet you're guilty of all five already.
Yes, bullying. It's not just that kid in school or that big boy down the street, parents sometimes are the major bullies to kids.
Aggressive intimidation is a tactic many parents use on their kids, but the result has far-reaching effects.
Take, for example, your kid frowns at the presence of visitors, making you uncomfortable. When the visitor leaves, you decide to deal the kid a good deal of spanking for his supposed misdemeanor. Of course, next time, he will smile at you when a visitor is present, but deep down, he isn't happy.
You have only bullied him into acting the way you want.
It is said that some parents stoop to the level of raining insults on their children.
Do insults ever solve anything? The answer is a big no.
The negative effects of your actions are far more than you can imagine. You would be destroying his self-esteem, and at the same time destroying the love and respect he/she has for you.
Of course, anger makes people say what they do not want to say, but it is even unfortunate that people take the emotions of their kids as nothing.
You may hear a parent telling the child "You're a disappointment," or "You useless thing"
The parents may forget this easily, but the kid would have it in his memory for perhaps the rest of his life.
3. Excessive Comparison with other children.
Here are another mistake parents make when dealing with their children.
Repeatedly telling your child to be like another whom you feel is the ideal could ruin a lot for both the child and you. He begins to feel worthless and underachieved.
It is good that you want your kid to emulate positive qualities from their friends, but constantly telling them they are not as good as so-and-so would do more harm than good.
First, he begins to lose the respect he has for you, as he also starts to compare you with other parents, and sure enough, he would find better ones to compare you with it. Moreover, you could ruin his relationship with the friend, because the friend may be seen as a source of problems for him.
While this may sound weird to some, it is actually true that many parents consciously and unconsciously compete with their children for power. It is even more rampant in mother-daughter relationships.
The mother often reads meaning to her daughter's behaviors, amp it up, believes they are in a competition on whose rule would hold, and then fight on to the end. This is childish.
No one is competing with you. Allow your children to understand your rules, and when they do break them, understand that they're not doing just for the fun of it. It is wrong to think, "If I let him go, he wins and I lose."
5. Making duties into punishment.
This is by a long way the least grave on the list. It is nonetheless important to point out this mistake parents make.
For example, you say, "Sandra, if you don't do your homework, I'll make you wash the plate." Or things like, "If you don't listen, I'll make you come to my room and read for three hours. "
Punishments are meant to be dreaded, so if you make duties serve as punishment to your kids, he naturally dreads duties and becomes lazy and evasive.
The list is almost endless, but I reckon I should stop it here. There is no sure way of raising a child. We all make mistakes and figure them out along the road. The key is "Love your child." If you follow that, I don't see you failing as a parent.